Death by Insurance Company

We got a new insurance company at the beginning of the year. As a patient who has a mental illness I know full well how hard it is to actually get medications that you need. Maybe I should say, that help. See, there are tons of medications out there for us mentally interesting folks. It takes a long time for some people to get just the right med cocktail. Personally, I spent over five years trying this and that, mixed with this or that. We increased this, lowered that, took this one away, added that. Finally we got the right mix. I feel relatively sane and my brain is a bit less mushy than on previous cocktails.

Along comes the insurance company. “Ummm, sorry Mrs. Crazy but that medication is not on our formulary. You’ll have to find something else.” I try to explain to them how I’ve been on almost every medication and I’ve done a bunch of trial and error (mostly error) and this mix happens to be the only mix I’ve ever been on where I’m not a suicidal mess. “Ummmmm, sorry Mrs. Crazy, I don’t actually give a flying fuck what your quality of life is. You are a nothing, a nobody. You are crazy and we really don’t care if you live or die. You will take X medication or take a flying leap. Heck, take X medication and a flying leap for all I care. You suck.”

That’s not exactly how the conversation went but it was close enough.

See, the medication that works for me is a ridiculous price. It’s somewhere in the range of $500 a month for my mood stabilizer (and that’s the generic) and about $200 a month for my anti depressant (brand name). The generic anti depressant doesn’t work for me and according to a bunch of articles and studies it doesn’t work for a whole lot of people but the insurance companies still insists it does. And me being mentally ill makes me sound paranoid when I say, “it doesn’t work and you are trying to tell me it does.”

About paranoia, I have two things to say. First, it’s no where in my diagnosis that I suffer from it. And second, just because one is paranoid doesn’t mean that people aren’t out to get ‘em.

I talked to my psychiatric nurse about all this and she told me my best bet is to try and fill my prescriptions when it’s time. The pharmacy will deny me and then they will send some paperwork to her. At that time she will then try and fight the insurance company. She told me not to hold out hope she fights insurance companies everyday, for many other patients. She also told me in the mean time they can try different medications. I’m not going through another 5 years of this and that. Honestly, I’d rather take the chances of going crazy.